Friday, 26 November 2010
Word from the frozen north...
...he says with irony cos here in Ayrshire we don't have any snow.
Where's it gone? The news is full of the white stuff and my environs (I'm a writer, I can use words like that) are clear of it. Well, that's not quite 100% true - there was some frozen powdery stuff sprinkled on my back step this morning - if there was a collective pronoun for this event it would be called an embarrassment of snow. It was as if someone with heavy dandruff was standing there while furiously saying no to something.
Probably saying no to the royal wedding. As in "NOOOO, gonnae stop talking about it."
The news here is full of it. What's it like elsewhere across the globe? I gather you Americans are loving it.
I don't have a problem with William and Kate. They seem like a nice couple, if you like that kind of thing and I wish them well. What gets my goat is the way it is reported. Our media have a tone that is so obsequious - see earlier for note on big words - I half expect them to offer sick-bags with their news bulletins.
One BBC reporter I heard - just before I turned the TV off by throwing a brick at it - was talking over an African view and how the couple visited this place on holiday and how Wills might have proposed.
Now I'm paraphrasing here because I'm getting old and my memory isn't what it was - but said reporter was talking about how they were in this beautiful spot on safari - the camera pans across the african veldt - and in soft tones that were aiming for respect and admiration, but stumbled over cloying before crashing headlong into vomit-inducing, said something about the billions of people who would watch the royal wedding while there was no-one here to witness the proposal apart from perhaps a group of curious wildebeest.
We then get a view of a bloody big African cow, vacantly chewing on some African grass. It wouldn't know curious if it jumped on the back of a lion and shouted YUHOO, I'M GONNA EAT YA.
The reporter thought she was being cute. I thought she was being an arse.
Meanwhile, apropos of nothing really apart from my wish to talk about ME. (It's all about me, frankly.) On my publisher's blog - get me, I have a publisher - they are talking about names - and mine in particular. Have a wee read HERE. Leave them a message and tell them you are going to buy SO many books.