Saturday, 8 August 2009
A Day in the Life of...
You may recall an earlier blog where I mentioned that two of my poems will be posted on toilet doors throughout the Shetland Islands. For a screen dump of my poems go to - www.shetland-library.gov.uk
Weeellll, the local newspaper got wind of it and decided it would be a blast to run a pee-ce on it.
The editor arranged for a photographer to come to my house to take a photo. He wanted me sitting on the toilet with a book in my hand. The photographer mumbled something about the fact that it might be funny if I had my trousers round my ankles. He added I could position a book to preserve my modesty...
...this is where somebody in the back shouts , what book would you use? Tom Thumb? Little Men? Oor Wullie?
...I declined his kind offer to expose myself to the good people of Ayrshire. Who do you think I am, I ask? Think of my dignity. Think of the damage to my reputation Think of the column inches it would use up.
Unless, says I, there is much dollars. I am not averse to prostituting myself for my art.
He actually snorted.
Now... that is another blog altogether. Me prostituting myself for my art, I mean. Did I tell you about the time I was the Poet Laureate for an adult gift shop? Much dollars and my lips will be unsealed. Contributions in brown paper bags please.