Saturday, 8 August 2009

A Day in the Life of...

You may recall an earlier blog where I mentioned that two of my poems will be posted on toilet doors throughout the Shetland Islands. For a screen dump of my poems go to -

Weeellll, the local newspaper got wind of it and decided it would be a blast to run a pee-ce on it.

The editor arranged for a photographer to come to my house to take a photo. He wanted me sitting on the toilet with a book in my hand. The photographer mumbled something about the fact that it might be funny if I had my trousers round my ankles. He added I could position a book to preserve my modesty...

...this is where somebody in the back shouts , what book would you use? Tom Thumb? Little Men? Oor Wullie?

...I declined his kind offer to expose myself to the good people of Ayrshire. Who do you think I am, I ask? Think of my dignity. Think of the damage to my reputation Think of the column inches it would use up.

Unless, says I, there is much dollars. I am not averse to prostituting myself for my art.

He actually snorted.

Now... that is another blog altogether. Me prostituting myself for my art, I mean. Did I tell you about the time I was the Poet Laureate for an adult gift shop? Much dollars and my lips will be unsealed. Contributions in brown paper bags please.



  1. Michael, I must say you do find yourself in the most unusual situations. Standing on a toilet reading your book aloud and having some guy stand in front of you telling you to drop your drawers as he takes your picture....

  2. It's the price of fame, Thea. I just have to keep it all in perspective and make sure I don't get big-headed.

  3. Besides any advertising is good, right? I'm surprised you're not famous already.

  4. i agree with marley - why are you not famous yet??? btw, when the guy told you to drop your pants, did you flush?

  5. I flushed and went all indignant, Thea. On the subject of fame, not everyone enjoys the innate good taste and discernment that you guys own.

    The idea of the blog was to garner some attention...who knows, if good people like yourself spread the word? One day soon,eh?