Monday 1 March 2010

Things that make me go...




 
....brrrr....



Is it sledding, or sledging? In any case, 30,000 people gathered to watch some people doing it in a small town in Germany the other day. Apparently the girls liked the cold because it made their parts more pert and the boys were all heard blaming the chill factor for ...do I have to spell it out for you? The crowd saved most of their applause for a 70 year old pensioner who spontaneously stripped off to sledge down the hill on his own.

30,000 people? Those pesky Germans.



...Noooooo...

An article in the Times today claims that a leaked government report indicates that green fuels are almost as costly to the environment as diesel fuels are. Under the European Commission standard, each litre of biofuel should reduce emissions by at least 35 per cent compared with burning a litre of fossil fuel. Yet the study shows that palm oil increases emissions by 31 per cent because of the carbon released when forest and grassland is turned into plantations. Rape seed and soy also fail to meet the standard.

I’ve got a suggestion. See all the money these people have been given in grants, can we not spend it on improving public transport?



---c’montaefuck...

the total tosser who waved an Argentina football strip at a man who was severely burned while fighting for his country. You should be ashamed of yourself. Wanker.



...no way...

The breast implants that saved their owner’s life when she crashed her car. They acted as airbags apparently. And this is where I resist talking about Katie Price for once.



...noooo...


Who would have thought that the advent of Viagra would have meant that prostitutes in a Swiss brothel would have become proficient in the use of defibrillators? I’ll just let that one sink in for a moment...old men...new lease of life...hearts that couldn’t take the exertion...

One sex club owner stated that having people die on them was bad for business. You can work out the rest. A pragmatic bunch, eh?



...hehehehehe.....



The locals ejaculated with fury (sorry, I couldn’t resist) when their council limply changed the name of a local landmark. Tickle Cock Bridge is a spot where couples have gone for a wee fumble for generations. The council got all premature and changed it to Tittle Cott when Channel 4 were in the area. Like Channel 4 would care. They made their reputation on much worse.

An Over 50’s group claimed they were offended by the name change and demanded that it be returned to its former glory.

A sign reading “Tickle Cock” was erected before you could say ...that man's had a heart attack after taking some Viagra in a Swiss brothel...quick, fire up the defibrillator!

3 comments:

  1. where in germany was that??? and, yes, i would be offended if they change my hometown of tickle cock to anything with the word 'tittle'
    for crying out loud!

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  2. So they watched people 'do it?'

    I love Nut News - obscure, pertinent, current, and oh, so funny!

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  3. can't remember, Thea. Google naked sledding and you'll probably find it.

    Marley, not sure if they watched but I got the impression it was the local version of "lover's lane" - and cheers!

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