Friday, 4 September 2009

Mind Munchies

125,000 euros is not to shabby for a book prize, is it? This is what Scottish author Philip Kerr won the other night for his novel If The Dead Rise Not. This is the latest book that features his Berlin detective Bernie Gunther. Gunther is a great invention and Philip Kerr is a writer on my must-buy list. Do yourself a favour and check him out.

Here’s some good news for those of us of large proportions. Large thighs apparently lower your risk of heart disease. The magic figure is 60 cm or in old-english, 23.6 ins. For an effective measure place the tape around your thigh just below the gluteal fold. Or in English, the crease where your arse meets your thigh. If it’s below the magic 60 cm, prepare to get those skinny thighs of yours exercised. Or, you could eat half a dozen doughnuts before you go to bed. Simply brush off the sugar coating if you are worried about your teeth. Do I, or do I not provide a public service here on May Contain Nuts?

This next one is with thanks to E...
What’s the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For Bird Flu you get tweetment and for Swine Flu you take some oinkment.

I’m toying with the idea of getting an e-reader. Anyone out there got one? What’s your experience? Is there anyone out there willing to give one away to a struggling writer? Anyone? Sony? Just think of the exposure May Contain Nuts can give you. Save a fortune on marketing, by the way.

Aleksandr Orlov, the aristocratic meerkat, a bizarre character dreamt up by, the insurance price comparison website, has become a “star” in his own right with 555,000 Facebook fans and 25,000 Twitter followers. WTF? Are people so starved of entertainment? Get a life, people. Buy a book.
Hey. That could be my new slogan.

As my blog is chiefly about books and writing, I thought it was about time that I spent some blog inches on some of the issues important to me in the world of writing. One such issue close to my heart is that of sentence structure. If your syntax can be misconstrued it could lead you or your characters into some serious trouble. Lemme give you an example, cos I’m a sharing kinda guy.
Read carefully and see where you could have your character improve on his dialogue…

“The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit." “


  1. oh, no, that dialogue's perfect!!!!!!!! love it, mikey - making me laugh on a friday nite!! tanx

  2. Your blog is a must-read for its - um- informative content, Michael. You are so crazy.

    Check out the latest update on Swine Flu on my blog. The main symptom to look for...

  3. Thea, you are welcome. Marley, me crazy? as a box of frogs.