Stuff n' Nonsense

Update on the ankle: it’s still freakin’ sore. And I’m getting cabin fever.

Having too much time on my hands, I’ve been surfing and shopping on the web. And those nice people at Comet delivered me a new laptop. Wuhoo. I LOVE getting new gadgets. The old one was well past its best. It’s 5 years old (is that old for a laptop?) and is DEAD slow. I can go and make a cup of tea while it loads a new word document. Trying to watch any moving objects is beyond it. And for all those mucky minds out there, I’m thinking football highlights.

This has led to a couple of technological issues however. My new computer software wasn’t talking to my security software which wasn’t talking to my password security software which wasn’t talking to my broadband provider. Which meant I couldn’t access my emails. Until this morning when speaking to the right person over the phone got it all sorted. Frustrated much?

I’ve also got a problem with my ipod library, but I’m not going to talk about that after working on it for 2 hours or I’ll end up freakin’ losing it. And while I’m not losing it, I still haven’t sorted out the phone issue. I have an old one that I can’t work out how to text with. I may love new gadgets but I hate technology. Confused much?

An interesting side effect of the cabin fever is the change in my appetite. I can’t be bothered eating. Unless it’s late at night and the food is highly calorific, has zero nutritional value, comes with excellent artery clogging properties and is either coated in batter or chocolate.

This of course is a Bad Thing when taken in conjunction with the fact that I can’t exercise. I may need to measure myself for a new fat suit. If I had a tape that is – and no not every man is born with a measuring tape in his hand.

What else have I been doing with all this time, I hear you ask? Watching TV is the answer.

Watched some cool movies. “Brick” is a high school movie given a Sam Spade noir kinda feel. Clever and engrossing. Bangkok Dangerous was ok and it gives Nick Cage a chance to kick some butt while wearing the same expression for 90 minutes and sporting one of the worst haircuts in cinematic history. A question about the hairdo, Nick. Why are you taking pointers from the Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code? Didn’t look good on him, dude. Anyway, the film passed some time.

I also watched Iron Man, which has a 12 age banding. Which is about right. Burn after Reading was also good fun. Frances McDormand is a comedic genius and Brad Pitt’s not just a pretty face....spoiler alert...the gormless, hiya buddy look on his face just before the George Clooney character shot him. Priceless.

Then there’s the chat show brigade. I caught a couple of minutes of Jeremy Kyle and Jerry Springer. Ok, you know how reluctant I am to voice an opinion on this blog (yeah right) but Kyle is a sanctimonious prick. At least Springer pretends to care about the people he’s manipulating. ‘Nuff said. Why these people line up to be traduced (that’s just for you, E) on TV is completely beyond me.

My tolerance of public humiliation being used up I turned to the Comedy Channel. Two and a Half Men is my new favourite comedy. The half-man in question gets all the best lines. He’s 11 at this stage and has a wonderful deadpan delivery. He’s doing his homework and trying to work out why, in his opinion, he’s so stupid. This is the running joke throughout this particular episode. He turns to his father near the beginning and asks, ‘Dad, are you and mom related?’ His next theory is that he ate some lead paint as a child. He finishes the episode by turning to his father and saying, ‘I got it! I was a crack baby.’