Monday, 26 October 2009

Happy 100th

100 posts. Who would have thought it? A small milestone in the life of May Contain Nuts. And you can blame R J Ellory (excuse me while I shamelessly name-drop). ‘Twas he who commented after I sent him an email that I would be good at blogging. Before the words had settled in that space other people might call a brain, I was off and blog-running.

The picture above (BTW, ignore the words) is there... just because, if you must ask. Besides I promised Bill Kirton. Between you and me he has a fixation. This is me whispering << the man needs help>>. I, on the other hand? I am much more civilised. You’ll barely notice me staring.

In the interests of equality I should have something for the ladies. I am very interested in equality, but much less interested in the male torso, so if you want a cheap thrill girls you’ll have to go elsewhere.

Anyway, where was I? Yes. Blogging. It’s mad innit? You free-write all this nonsense – spew forth the unedited and only slightly fictionalised (that’s my get-out clause and you’ll just have to guess which parts are made up, if any) contents of your brain and call it that strange mono-syllablic word. A blog.

I started off without much of a plan. I would just write stuff about the things I cared about, like books, movies, writing and my family and see what happened.

And what happened was a shitload of fun. Well it was for me. Oh, how I laugh. And I got all these people coming to read words wot I wrote. People have popped in from places as diverse as Brazil, Denmark, Indonesia, Khazakzstan, Greece (Hi, Sarah), North America... and I could go on. But I won’t. Being a modest kinda chap.

Talking about family, the wee fella could care less that I write about him. I let him see one of our conversations that I had relayed to my (worldwide – get me) audience.

-right. OK, he said barely lifting his sightline away from Spongebob who was chasing Patrick the starfish across the TV screen.

- I don’t want you to think that I’m talking about you behind your back.

-um, ehm, right, OK. He grins at the telly.

-and I’m doing it from a position of love.

-right, Dad. I get it...He has that tone (his mother’s). He looks over and that photo attracts his attention. He looks at me – you’re obsessed, he says and goes back to the TV.

I also tried to make sure that the Queen of Chaos knew what I was doing to her good name. She doesn't have a P.C. so I opened up the blog online to let her read it. She got as far as me describing her as gorgeous and fun... and then she asked if she could google her latest ailment.

I try, dear reader, I try.

What else has happened is that I’ve made some new pals. OK, they are distributed all over the globe (see earlier comments about WORLDWIDE audience) but hey, nice people invite me, briefly into their lives and react to words wot I write. Ordinary people across the world making a connection. 

Way. Beyond. Cool.

I had thought about having a party and offering you all wine and cake, but I find virtual wine to be a tad on the dry side and the cake to be a wee bitty plain. I do feel we should not allow this moment to pass without pause. So, to celebrate our tiny space on that giant gibbering mass that is the worldwide web, I’m inviting you to leave me a comment. About anything. Something random. An unknown fact about you. This is especially for those of you out there who regularly read the post and then pass know who you silent and wordless as a silent and wordless thing.

Don’t be giving me that old chestnut ... adopts woe- is- me tone ...“I can’t work out how to do it”. Just leave me a frickin’ message, ok?

Then you can go back to doing the silent and wordless thing if you want.

100 posts. Go me. Yay us.


  1. Hey Mikey, how are ya? I was up in New York again. Kind of did my version of a regency era house crawl...going from house to house freeloading off my friends (and they would agree!) Anyway, my last stop was at my sister (who might just rival the queen of chaos with her sisterly insanity) in New York City. Okay, here's what's going on there: first, let's get this out of the way-how about them Yankees??!!??? World Series against the Phillies starts Wednesday. So it shall be insane in the US for the next week or so. The Yankees are a team you either love the hate or hate to love. i only have two words: DEREK JETER. But the latest thing about NYC is they have closed off lanes going down Broadway around Times Square - now more pedestrians can walk up and down Broadway for a taste of NY. And they have bicycle lanes. I was taking a taxi down B'way to Penn Station and it got pretty bottlenecked. My cabbie was saying there are over 24,000 cabs in NYC, plus a bunch of @$*$(%*% cabs for New Jersey mucking up traffic even more. Anyhoo, I was born in nyc so when i go there, its like going back to the womb! I'm now back in d.c. with all its crime and swine flu breakouts. oh, the funniest thing that i heard about the swine flu was that people think the H1N1 is actually pronounced 'hiney' as in i need my shot in the hiney for the hiney flu. How about the rest of you folks? are you worrying your hiney off about this flu? geez mikey, are you regretting yet asking folks to leave comments??? i do have another story for you about my sister who shall now be called the duchess of chaos...but i will save that for my next post. just remind me. have a great one! t

  2. I can't possibly match the unbounded enthusiasm of Thea (or the unbounded something else of your caption photo either, for that matter) but I'll stop in here long enough to say congratulations on your 100th blog! That's very persistent of you... or dedicated... or annoying (no, scrap that one)... or, ah, what can a person say about one who bares all (no, scrap that, too), who tells it like it is, or at least how he wants us to think it is? Whatever. I'm glad I found your blog anyway and am looking forward to catching at least some of the next 100! :)

  3. P.S. - For those lurkers who would like to post their congratulations, too, but keep getting the "Your comment cannot be processed. Please try again" message, DO try again... and again. Just follow the instructions but then keep hitting the "Post Comment" button. It eventually works.

  4. Thea, great to hear from you. The World Series is what, baseball? I have no clue. Been to NYC once and loved it. As for hiney (love that)flu, we've had it for ages. We lost all of that British restraint and went apeshit.

  5. Careann, thanks for keeping the lurkers right. I often find that it takes several attempts for me to leave comments.

  6. I see ...

    So, correct me if I'm wrong but ...

    something like half the population of the planet (to interpolate from your stats) is now convinced that, rather than being known as the king of the crime writers who live in a certain part of one Aberdeen street, Bill Kirton is notorious only for his alleged fixation on mammary glands.

    I suppose a learned aside now on the aesthetic imperatives conditioning the passive appraisal of representations of the female form would be in order. Or perhaps a peroration on the Jungian fascination for primeval archetypes. And anyway, how do you know I'm not on a retainer for Wonderbra?

    No, I prefer to be enigmatic and simply echo Browning's lines:
    "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
    Or what's a heaven for?"

    Anyway, congratulations on the 100th and please keep them coming. It's my only shot at fame.

  7. i think i'm in love with bill

  8. Bill, the simplicity and modesty with which you display your erudition leaves me scratchy with envy.

    Thea, he has an excellent blog and a number of crime novels available (somewhere) for sale. And all his own teeth...a lady could do worse.

  9. One of my proudest boasts...I got a mention on the very first May Contain Nuts entry. I hope I'm around for entry one thousand!!

  10. Interesting E. So you got a mention all that time ago and the police still haven't come knocking.

    And Thea ... so am I.

  11. Entry 1000 coming right up, E. Soon-ish.

  12. Okay, now we know that you blamed the picture on Bill but the wee fella told off on you. I know I mentioned to you the other day that one of our teams, I mistakenly said the Colts but it was .....drumroll, please.... the PATRIOTS. Ironic huh. Anyway, congratulations on your 100th. Keep going like the last 100 and we'll be voting for you on the blogger of the year award.

  13. bill, self-love is the most sacred. i really dig men with teeth, too...and who quote browning. sigh
    p.s. michael, yes its the world series of baseball. yeah, who cares

  14. in honor of michael's 100th, lets all post, please!!

  15. Great grammar, one of our teams was in London. I had to insert that because you don't know football anymore than you know baseball. VBG.

  16. p.s. my favorite post of all was the hairy guy

  17. And a round of applause. Take a bow before you retire, Michael. Clap, clap, clap, eotius cheers from the balcony.

  18. Keep them coming, Michael. I read and admire every one - I just don't say so, usually. But I have to join in the celebration of number 100 cause I want to read more, more, more...

  19. Belated Happy 100, Michael. And you needn't bother blaming Bill, who is blameless - except with llamas. xxx

  20. Hi Michael
    Thanks for the namecheck. I always enjoy reading your comments and look to see who's on line at the same time. People do pop in from all over the world and I want to visit them all!
    Best wishes from Greece. Sarah

  21. so, how long do we have to wait for one hundred and one???? geez SOMETHING exciting must have happened in the last few days. p.s. i'm sick of looking at artifically enhanced bubbies

  22. Thea, there's one on its way soon. And BTW what are bubbies and why are sick of looking at falsies?