I was in a bank the other day. They had a rather large tree (almost as big as mine) in the lobby. There was a sign under the tree that read...
Don’t Touch Children
For the want of a comma, a request to the kids turned out to be a warning for the local paedos.
Seeing as we were talking about kids, (Yes we were. Kinda) let me share this with you…
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8 (mmm, wonder if anyone phoned social services for this kid?)
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8 (There's a family that talks.)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough...
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a love?)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10 (eyes wide open that one)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9 (this boy should run courses on the art of Perspective)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (exactly)
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them... It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8 ( I keep telling the wee fella this. Think he believes me?)
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (EXACTLY!)
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10 (He'll be married forever)