Thursday, 10 December 2009

The World According to...

My thoughts on the world at large this week...

...let he/ she who is without sin cast the first golf ball.

And lo, on the 19th day he made a sport of hitting small balls with skinny sticks and decided that people who flourish in this arena should be viewed as paragons of virtue and excluded from the human foible that afflicts the rest of us – Making Mistakes. But when they fail they shall be judged most harshly.

Don’t remember reading that in the bible.

Lest we forget, there are children and a wife involved here. Let’s leave them to try and re-build their lives, eh?

...we have a politician called Darling. ‘Nuff said.

...I bet the politicians (Munchkin, Sweetness and Darling among them) were hoping that by focussing all of their ire on the bankers and their bonuses it would distract from the fuckwit MPs who “stole” money from the public purse. Then – oh dearest darling – news gets released today about expenses being claimed for “a bell tower, garden trellis and dog walking”. Foken eejits.

The good news, Honey, Sweetlips and Poppet? The court of public opinion might be unforgiving and judgemental but it has all the attention span of goldfish in a tumble dryer. The investment bankers will find a way to give a great big fuck you to the taxman and we’ll be back on their hate machine.

...Copenhagen and the so-called debate on Climate Change. This issue has become so heavily politicised that we will never reach any form of consensus. So who’s right and who’s wrong? I’m not bright enough to understand the data, but I have a question. Can we not just decide to minimise pollution? Surely that’s in everyone’s interest.

...according to The Telegraph, monocles are coming back into fashion. I’ve decided I’m going to grow old disgracefully and this could be my prop. See me peering through one of them with my face twisted in my favourite whogivesafuck expression and asking...what, what, WHAT?

Do you think it will work for me? I think the ladeez will be queuing up.



  1. monicles for your pleasure and hearing aids for the rest of us!! re Tiger - i don't care that much about him but it's revolting to know he was screwing around while his wife was pregnant. now that is the lowest of low.

  2. Love the wohogivesafuck expression (one mastered by cats world-wide) and agree on the judging thing in general...but as a woman/mother/ex-wife, the whole screwing around while I'm at home with the kids--not a great feeling. Let's hope he used condoms...

  3. Yeah, it doesn't take a lot of smarts to realize the humans are affecting the planet in a negative way but the politicians, scientists and lobbyists are too busy fighting over it to act. And then they'll use an excuse like Climategate not to do anything.

  4. Agree with the whole blog, Michael, but I can't help noticing that there wasn't an immediate take-up from the ladeez with regard to your new monocled image. Let me just say, therefore, that I found it extremely enticing.

  5. Bill, yurrapal. But liar, liar methinks your underwear is aflame.