Friday, 3 July 2009

On Staycation

I’m having a “staycation” for the first week of my holiday this year. Like all words that become too popular this word annoys the feck out of me, but as a descriptive term it works.

And I had all these writing plans while I was off work. I was SO full of good intentions. As it happens, I am so full of shit. The weather was awesome for the main part of the week, so who could lock themselves on to their computer? And I had all those books to review for the website. And...and...and...

And this book isn’t going to write itself. Dammit.

So on week two of my vacation - the part that is not a staycation - when I head up to the Scottish Highlands, I have a plan. My son is not a morning person - frankly, he’s been a teenager in waiting since he was about 4. For the greater part of the day he is charm itself, but in the mornings ... Not So Good.

By the way, any prospective burglars out there. Don’t waste your time. Apart from having to tidy up before you find anything of value, I have a watchdog neighbour. She’s lovely but does “withering” very well and has the local police station on speed dial.

The plan for the awaycation is this...I set my alarm for 7 each morning. Write for a couple of hours by which my son will be stirring like some bear coming out of hibernation. I’ll feed him berries an’ shit like that and plank him in front of his Play Station for another few hours. Then lunch. Then we go out and take in the sights for a few hours.

In case you think I’m a crap parent, this suits him perfectly. He gets to sleep as long as he likes. He gets to play his games. He then gets to visit places on fast forward – just as he likes it. Everyone’s a winner.

Another part of this cunning plan is not to take any books with me. I know, I know, it will kill me. This is me gnawing on my knuckles at the very thought. No books. It’s like fish without chips; KFC without chicken; a romantic comedy without cheese.

I can do it.

Another distraction is of course, continued contributions to this blog. The plan here is to see how it goes, ‘cos the blogs don’t really take up that much of my time. Noooo, I hear you protest, they appear so carefully constructed and perfectly worded that they must take HOURS.

There maybe the odd post. So don’t stray too far. I don’t want to lose y’all. Sob. Missing you already.

Other questions have been pushing themselves round my head this morning. Like, where did the sun go? Who sent all this rain? (It’s like a freaking tropical storm.) And who has been wearing all my clothes and leaving them in the wash basket? Since I’ve been on my staycation (is it annoying you yet?) I’ve worn nothing but shorts, t-shirts and sandals. Yet I have a washing full of socks, shirts, jeans, jumpers etc etc. Frankly, I’m sick of it. Heretofore, from hereonin and going forward the plan is just to go about naked while I’m in the house. Think of the planet. I’m saving on water and on the soapy stuff. Besides the only people who ever come to my door are my son, the postman and door to door salesmen. My son has seen it all before, for the postie I’ll cover up with a towel and the salesmen deserve everything they get.

I have this trick I do. I call it The Lassoo.

Speak soon, Peeps.


  1. I'm laughing! That picture is gross but I love your writing. I hope the sun comes back for your time in the Scottish Highlands and you have a great vacation while still accomplishing lots of writing.

  2. Hey careann - glad you like. And for the record the photo isn't me. You can tell 'cos I haven't got any hair.

  3. I know where the rain came from ... it is the result of all this wonderful high pressure we have had over the past week or so ... it's called showery precipitation and let's hope that you don't get any in the Scottish Highlands on your Awaycation - mind you, if the rain doesn't get you, the midges certainly will! Happy holidays!

  4. Michael, somehow I just knew that wasn't your picture! :) Enjoy your vacation.

  5. Hope you have a lovely holiday! But there's no place like home :-)

  6. Michael, so glad you're being productive on your staycation. Love that picture. Lordy! I just got home from my vacation, went to Denver, Colorado and then Santa Fe, New Mexico. Totally different from the east coast. We explored the ancient cliff dwellings of the anasazi indians. I actually climbed ladders to look into the caves. but the vistas were magnificent. Santa Fe is a lovely city, charming adobe architecture everywhere. We also went to the Georgia Okeefe museum, then visited Ghost Ranch where she lived. To view her favorite mountain (Pardenal) after seeing her paintings was amazing. High recommend if you ever get to the states. I actually visited the Scottish Highlands in 2002. Loved it up there. What amazes me is how old it feels up there. So much history. When i came home, everything felt so new, plastic. however, after visiting those cave dwellings out west, they too felt ancient. Anyway, have a wonderful holiday with your son. So, there is such a thing as an American accent?

  7. Thea, good to hear from you. Your holiday sounds amazing.

  8. I don't know where I've been the last few days except delivering very heavy mail Monday after the Fourth. You certainly couldn't have gotten the rain from us. We were in the midst of a drought until Monday, yes, rain, even though we wanted it - it was a bitch trying to keep the mail and packages dry.

    So glad you're posting about the Highlands. I missed so much of it when I was there.

  9. Odd, my verification word was untroo. I swear I wasn't lying.