With all of the money that Tesco have at their disposal you’d think they’d be able to target their promotional emails a little more carefully. Here is an excerpt from one I received last week...
Dear Mr Malone,
This week at Tesco.com we're celebrating the highly anticipated release of Sex and the City 2 with these fantastic offers to help you have the perfect girl's night in. From wine to dips and pizza to desserts, we've got all you need for a fabulous night in with the ladies.
Now, I don’t mind a wee drop of wine, the odd pizza or dessert and I wouldn’t be averse to a night in with the ladies – do Tesco provide them as well? The advert didn’t say. But celebrate SATC 2?
Puh-leeze.
I’d rather sit and watch a party political broadcast – for any political party - scripted by Katie Price, starring Piers Morgan, with music by Jedward and directed by Chris Moyles.
euuuggh
A trailer for SATC 2 was on the TV the other night and the wee fella reminded me that my attempts to socialise him are failing and that the age of Political Correctness has completely passed him by when he ranted – I don’t get it, dad. Why are they making a fuss about these women? They’re old and they’re ugly and that one – Sarah Jessica Parker flits across the screen in some designer blah – has a face like a horse.
Ouch.
Tesco.com were more on course with their marketing this week when their promo talked about the World Cup (this is me jumping up and down and screaming, I can’t wait!) and offered cheap beer and crisps.
D’ye think if I get in some wine, pizza and desserts the ladies will come along as well?
they say all men are hot and good lookin when you've drunk enough - but this fellow wouldn't get that far!!! lol anyhoo, we call sarah j parker 'butter face' as in, 'but, her face!) but she's a lovely person i'm sure.
ReplyDeletethere is a BUT here - isn't it unusual for someone with a butter face to get so much attention nowadays? She does have something.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm regretting the mention of SATC given that google had added all those ads.
I'm with you on the World Cup, Michael and, being a man of leisure, I'll be watching the afternoon matches too. But what I really wanted to say is that I'm glad you shared your portrait with the rest of your followers. I remember the night that I took it. What fun we had.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the World Cup. And I'll take wine, pizza, crisps and desserts (no beer, thanks, it makes me burp (and it tastes like pish)). No SATC for me (despite my shoe thing). I'm more interested to see how my fantasy football team get on.
ReplyDeleteThe wee fella is doing just fine, Michael, with his honest observations! Enjoy the World Cup, all those who care about it.
ReplyDeleteBill, Bill, Bill, cleverly deflected...serves me right I should have paid you that modelling fee. And I told you the fat Russell Brand lookalike thing would work.
ReplyDeleteDonna, I was going to say, I wouldn't know cos I've never drank pish - but you can never be sure can you? Especially when Bill Kirton is pouring the drinks.
Rosemary, thanks. Are you about to be a World Cup Widow?
oww, bill k got you good
ReplyDeleteBill got you real right :)
ReplyDeleteThea and Dez (Bill if you're reading this turn away NOW)this is me with my arns crossed, going "mmmm" and hating to admit you're right.
ReplyDeleteThen I'm thinking about the dish that's best served cold.
World cup, Schmirled cup. I'm ready for some FOOTBALL!!! THis is like watching a heavyweight wrestling match.
ReplyDeleteWould that be SOCCER or American football, Marley. To be honest some of the football, oops, soccer on display has been ponderous.
ReplyDelete